They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
