I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
