i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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