would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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