I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
