Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize