just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
