He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
