Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize