if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
