and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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