Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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