I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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