Me. At least after what I've been through.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
