i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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