Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
