Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
