Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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