2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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