Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
