Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
