did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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