you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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