Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
