whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
