I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
