I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
