hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
