At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
In America we eat man semen.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
