Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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