honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
