Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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