Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
