i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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