you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
