Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Drunk is a universal language darling
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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