This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
