its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
