In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You can't just leave with hair like that
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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