idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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