spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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