I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
