Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
