'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I am available for nakedness
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