im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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