the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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