I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
