Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
