Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
