omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
