Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
