Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
