You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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