Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize