I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize