Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
