After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
