I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Actions speak louder than pants.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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