im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize