farters have to be the big spoon...
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize