I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
love makes seman taste better
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
