if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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