i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
His hands were made for my vagina.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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