obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
operation have a gay friend backfired
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
