Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
