Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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