According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
