Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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